Chokolada

It's been quite a while since i last posted something....
....i have no excuse other than, i forgot.

May i proudly anounce that school is officially over for the year.
Parties. Outings. Procrastination. Welcome back into my life.

I went into the last holidays with high expectations and many plans that didn't actually happen. All did was set myself up for dissappointment.

So i'm going into these holidays with no expectations and few plans.

Rant time.

When somebody tells you that they're going to the Gold Coast for ten days over the christmas/new years period, generally you think they're really lucky. UNTILL they tell you that they're driving up there, alone in a car with their mom, for 10 hours, plus breaks.

Does anybody have any idea how awkward that's going to be? How many questions can actually be asked in those 10 hours!? How many times i can get angry and get her to nearly turn the car around back to sydney, in those 10 hours? Too many for my liking.

So I've spent the last couple of days in the mind frame of a mother. What potentially awkward questions would i ask my 17 year old?

A classic example:
Mom: So, do you have a boyfriend?

Now, at this point, we can follow two paths. Yes mom. Or. No mom.
The No mom scenario:

Mom: So Darling, do you have a boyfriend yet? (notice the emphasis on the 'yet', indicating that there are excpectations)
Me: No mom, not yet. (notice the emphasis on the 'yet', indicating the annoyance and sarcasm)
Mom: A pretty girl like you without a boyfriend?! Thats impossible! Any boys you fancy?
Me: No mom, it's actually kind of common these days. And no mom, there's nobody i 'fancy'. People don't use that term these days you know.
Mom: Oh. Well when i was your age, i had 5 boyfriends and a whole bunch of other guys after me you know, don't worry, your time will come.
***long, awkward silence***
Mom: So if there's no boys you like....are there any girls you fancy? You know these days kids aren't as picky anymore....they'll take what they can get.

and then she goes on into her famous lecture about standards and morals and not changing anyhting about yourself to satisfy others.

Now the 'yes' scenario:
Mom: So, do you have a boyfriend yet?
Me: As a matter of fact, i do.
Mom: REALLY! (gets really excited in hopes i'll begin to tell more)
Me: yeah.
Mom: What's his name?
Me: *insert name*
Mom: Oh. He's a serbian boy, how lovely!
Me: No mom, he's actually croatian.
*awkward silence*
Mom: Well, you know your grandmother was full croatian, so you have no need to worry about the whole serbs vs croats thing.
Me: yes mom.
*mom thinks of more awkward questions to ask, while i think of ways to give out as little information as possible whilst still satisfying her curiousity*
Mom: Where did you meet? When did you meet? Is he hot? How old is he? What school does he go to? Where does he live? How often do you see eachother? When did this all start? How long has it been? What village are his parents from? Does his mom use bessemer to cook? Is he taller than you? Have you held his hand? Have you kissed him? You're not going to have sex with him. When do i get to meet him?
Me: After all those questions, never, i hope.

Sif i'd put the poor guy through that pain and torture. Honestly, kudos to anyone who survives that test.

Wog parents 'kill my life' so to speak.

And so it goes, with a bunch of questions asked in hopes of my mother getting to know me better. I mean, after 17 years if you don't know how to figure me out without asking, just quit now.

*sigh* anywho, i kinda got distracted by facebook and msn, so i lost my train of thought.
I'll be sure to blog more regularly from now on.

till next time,
have fun, play it safe, keep it sexy ;]

Silent-j