Life Lesson One.

The content below is not mine.

First off, I would like to thank Silent-J for putting this up on her blog for me. You’ve done something I could never do, you put up your thoughts - good and bad – for the world to see. You’ve been there for me to confide in and you’ve been what everyone else struggles to be; honest. And for all of that, I thank you.

As I’m writing this, the sad reality of the person I’ve become has finally set in. However, I’m going to treat this as if it were a lesson at school. Before you get to the actual POINT of something you first need to understand the context of it and of course the background information. So here it is...

The majority of people put up metaphorical walls. Why do people put up metaphorical walls? Well I believe people put up walls because they want to create a facade. They don’t want people to see the actual hurt they’re feeling, or in some cases (like mine) people put up walls to protect the feelings they do have. But sometimes you’re lucky. Sometimes you come across someone that just... demolishes those walls and instead replaces them with that feeling of safety and that feeling of love.

Back to my lesson, the walls are down, they’re gone, they’ve been completely annihilated. It feels good, it even feels amazing. To be able to trust someone so wholeheartedly, it really truly is amazing and wonderful. I believe that two things happen within the brain at this time. Firstly; the part of your brain that is your sense of reasoning, that allows you to develop logical and realistic thoughts, that discounts any emotions in decision making, that part shuts down and is no longer operative. And secondly; that tiny, miniscule, insignificant part of your brain takes over. The part that allows you to develop a deep, emotional attachment to someone. Right about now, you are fucked, extremely hard, up the ass too.

So what happens when that part takes over and encompasses you? Well you give everything. Absolutely everything you have to give, whether it be spiritually, physically, emotionally, you give it all up. Mind, body, heart and soul. It doesn’t really matter now. This is the person that brought down those walls, nothing can go wrong now. Except sometimes, you don’t really get that much in return and you automatically think to yourself; maybe I need to give more. So you do, you opt for your money, your time, your pride, your dignity, everything you can think of. But still, it’s like it’s not enough.

And here comes the conclusion to my lesson children. Who is the person that I’ve become? I’ve become that girl. You know, the one where people wonder why does she put herself through that? I’ve become that girl who did possibly the stupidest thing a girl could do. I fell in love.

Anonymous.