I should be studying, preparing for that economics exam that i know i'm going to fail. I should do something to change that, I should think of my future, and being reliant on the dole... But I'm beyond the point of caring, i really am. Will a band six in eco provide me with true happiness?

Probably not, but i do know what's making me happy at the moment.

Surprisingly enough, I'm no longer 'hating' on life. I've stopped questioning my existence and have begun to make the most of it.

I lied. I still question everything. It all seems so pointless. Why am i wasting my time on study and exams and stressing over school when i could be living the high life, smoking it up, drinking it up, partying all day every day. I guess i'm still hanging onto the idea that putting all this hard work in now will pay off in the end, but will it? Honestly? I've seen so many people work so hard, and expect so much, only to be let down in the end, by none other but themselves.

So in the end, it comes to me asking myself, 'What the fuck am i doing?'.

to that i answer, ' i have no idea'